A Time to Give Thanks

AS SOON AS THE KIDS BARELY HAD THEIR HALLOWEEN MAKE UP WIPED OFF, "JINGLE BELLS" BLARED OVER STORE SOUND SYSTEMS AND ADS FOR THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT APPEARED ON TV.....

Thanksgiving is barely noticed.

Celebrating Thanksgiving used to be a much bigger occasion. The First Thanksgiving lived in our collective consciousness as children made turkeys from construction paper feathers glued onto paper plates and dressed up as pilgrims. We told the story of the gratitude the pilgrims felt for living through near starvation and finally reaping a harvest that meant they would survive and prosper.

But, today, as we turn into a people whose biggest health problem is obesity, we face spiritual starvation in the face of physical excess. Therefore, on this Thanksgiving 2009, let’s strengthen our spiritual roots and seek Help From Above to enlarge our spirits and enrich our lives.

The gratitude you feel when you celebrate Thanksgiving will bring you peace of mind amidst the turmoil and uncertainty of this post-911 world.

Being grateful doesn’t mean that you ignore or postpone dealing with the problems in your life, but gratitude gives you the tools you need to face and solve those problems.

Gratitude cures depression, eliminates bitterness and resentment, brings peace amidst trials, and blesses those around you. M. J. Ryan, in her book, Attitudes of Gratitude, points out that we must be grateful even as we endure the inevitable tribulations of life on this earth. “We can’t wait until everything is OK–with us or with the rest of the world–to feel thankful, or we will never experience it at all."

As Thanksgiving, then Christmas rushes upon you, watch for moments of joy--the laughter of a child, a breathtaking sunset, the aroma of fresh cookies, a soft, sweet-smelling blanket.

Focusing on good things will bring you great peace, even amidst sorrow or suffering. Don't let your trials blind you to beauty, no matter what else may be happening.

May you lean on Help from Above as you reflect on the blessings that have come to you, even with economic woes and wars around the world. May your Thanksgiving holiday be filled with feasting for your body and your soul.

The End of My Mother's Life

August 14, 2009

I'm looking forward to seeing as many of my siblings, children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews as possible this weekend. Grandma has rallied quite a bit--she's happy about seeing all of her children, including Butchy. She even had her hair done today at the shop in the care center. I will be bringing her home on hospice on Tuesday, August 18.

Butchy and his care-giver, Lynn, have been at the care center this afternoon with her for awhile "until she dozed off." They'll be at my house this evening for dinner. Paxton and his girls, Mandy, Megan and Elizabeth, with their families are on their way as I write this.

Nathan will be here in about an hour. Eric and Adelina will be here late tonight, and Chuck and Arlene will be in some time late tomorrow.

I've been back and forth to the care center or hospital for nearly three weeks. I'll be relieved to have Grandma in the house, because the care center simply doesn't do what family can.

I won't go into how many times I found her slumped in her chair or cross-wise in the bed where, from the wrinkle marks on her skin, she'd been for several hours. Or the screams of "Ow, ow!!" that tore at my heart when they cleaned her up or moved her. Many of the aides and nurses at Kolob are cheerful and helpful, but they have too many patients and too little time. And some of them dismissed an old ladies cries with, "She's not really in pain" then ignored her. It took me three days to get appropriate pain treatment for her, and I'm still not sure they have it right.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to try to take care of her myself (I don't have the physical ability, anyway). I have several day care people who will come in several hours a day and she will be on hospice, which means comfort care. We won't be forcing her into therapy or even making her move when she doesn't want to. And she'll be able to eat whatever she wants, because I'm not going to worry about her sugar levels, except to check it and give her insulin.

I'll try to be better about updating, but the past month has been pretty stressful.

Dolly is helping me figure out how to blog more effectively.... I'm going to post my column for the 4th of July.


“Patriotism is Needed Now More Than Ever”
Corrie Lynne Player

Last week I asked you to share some trials you were grateful for–and I had quite a response! Plus I dug through my “Readers Correspondence” file (yep, I keep copies of the messages you send me).
Since today is the Fourth of July–Independence Day, and our country’s Birthday--I think it’s fitting that I talk about the greatest challenge we face–defending ourselves against enemies both within and outside our great country.
You’d be amazed at the negative reactions I’ve had in years past over my saying the United States of America is the greatest country on earth--not perfect, certainly, but the greatest place to live, work, and raise a family.
But if you watch the news at all, you might not be surprised. If, like me, you have a beloved family member serving in Iraq, the negative reactions hurt your heart. Your son or daughter, in this all volunteer army, puts him or herself at mortal risk to protect and defend our way of life. Many have died or been maimed–impacting you, the rest of your family and your community.
Yet, through all the wars and conflicts on this planet since our first 4th of July, we have expended our resources and continued to rebuild what was shattered. We have turned enemies into friends, responded to disasters around the world, and freely shared our prosperity. Our families, communities, and country should be honored and nurtured–to do so is not to diminish other families, communities or countries.
Too many people today take our freedoms and life style for granted. As Patrick Henry (known for “give me liberty or give me death”) said 250 years ago, “(Many) cry ‘peace, peace’ but there is no peace.” In those first decades of the struggle for American independence, a significant number of people were content to let the British exploit the colonies, because those people enjoyed wealth and social position.
The same thing is happening today, as a bloated federal government usurps more and more state and individual rights. Trillions of dollars are poured into a debt that dwarfs anything in our history, and more and more of our basic industries are coming under federal control. We’ve lost freedom of speech to political correctness, foisted on us by noisy groups advocating narrow agendas. We are in the same position as much of Europe was in the 1930s–we’re listening to demi-gods and smooth talking politicians who promise us whatever we want to hear. And we’ve surrendered our agency to “whatever feels good” because many of us have no personal moral code.
I think it’s time that everybody stopped arguing and started discussing, politely. It’s also time for polite people to stand up for themselves and refuse to back down in the face of their opponents’ tactics. Insist that all sides of an issue be heard, without rancor and fear of retaliation. Don’t throw up your hands and say, “Nothing I do matters.”
Remember that old saying, “I’m only one, but I AM one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something.” Rely on help from Above to guide your actions; post the flag in front of your house, wear it proudly on your lapel, and say, “Thank you” to the next service man you see in uniform. Celebrate the greatest country on earth!

Alaska was Wonderful--the week's since.... not so much

Well, I guess I'll just start typing--I tried to get in front of my signature.... Gary and I enjoyed a wonderful cruise up the Inside Passage, with stops in Ketchikan, Juneau, and Skagway. I gained back the weight I lost when I got sick. Then we spent five days in Anchorage, visiting with my brother , Paxton and his family. My brother, Chuck, flew up for a couple of days with one of his daughters and her two daughters, as well as to do a little work with Gary and to use his special touch with Butchy to bring him home to Cedar City.
Butchy stayed exactly two weeks--two weeks that helped me learn much about bureaucracies, family love and support, priesthood blessings and trusting the Lord. Most of all, I’ve learned even more about how much I love and need my sweetheart, Gary F. Player, world’s best husband, dad, and grandpa.
Gary cared for me and backed me up when everybody else told me to “give it up, you can’t make yourself sick over this.”
When Chuck, Gary and I brought Butchy to Cedar City, I really fully intended that this would be his permanent home, that he would be back within the circle of my Faith and family and that I would pursue full guardianship through the state of Utah. I also placed him on the waiting list for the disability waiver necessary for Medicaid to give him special services that he needs because of his mental handicaps.
But events beyond my control, economic realities, poor choices by others, refusals to honor agreements, etc., etc., forced me to put my personal feelings aside and send Butchy back to Alaska, to wait in familiar surroundings while my application for a disability waiver crawls through the system.

The best part of the past few months, however, is that I have reliable help with my mother who lives with me--without that help, I'm sure I'd have been in a rubber room a long time ago!

I'm Off to Alaska

OK, here's all that underlining again..... More stuff for Dolly to fix. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm heading to Alaska to finally be able to bring my brother, Butchy, back into the family. Nearly eight years have gone by since some bureacratic bungles took him away from us (waaaaay too complicated to go into here).
I finally found him about three years ago and thought Mama and I would be able to carry on a correspondence (one way, since he's so disabled), but Hope Cottages hid him again. And I hired a lawyer who was finally able to get me temporary guardianship. Hope Cottages are still trying to block the move, but I have the tickets and a court order and will be in Anchorage on May 25 to get him ready and fly out around noon on May 29.
I'm hoping to have the Alaska family continguent gather for a party. Oh, by the way, Amy, the cruise doesn't go through Kodiak...
Well, more to do to get ready to leave Thursday, May 14....

Updates for Friends and Family

Today is April 11, the day before Easter and I've had fun reading about the baskets and bunnies, coloring eggs, and, most of all, the point that the party stuff happens on Saturday, so all of our attention can be on the Atonement of Jesus Christ on Sunday.

Tomorrow, a fast day for us, Gary will lead the choir at Church and he will perform with the Master Singers at 7:00 p.m. All you folks in or near Cedar City, Utah, come to the Heritage Center for a wonderful ending to your celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior.

OK.... Dolly, I hope you can do something with this underlining. Or is it normal? Also, I sure would like to know how to attach/post cool photos like everybody else does....(Yep-I got rid of the under-line...Doll)

Sherri is getting a little better but she still has serious pain and debilitation. She's home from the hospital and Jon is amazing--he's been feeding her onion and garlic sandwiches (natural antibiotics) and cleaning house. Her kids are helping as much as most kids, stepping up to the plate to shepherd younger sibs and clean up messes.

Developing Kindness

Over the years, I’ve written about developing kindness and a sense of service in your children. Human beings need one another–in fact, forced isolation and the inability to interact with others can cause insanity and death. Babies in orphanages who receive little verbal stimulation turn their faces to the wall and die, even if they are fed and clothed adequately.
Scientists are learning wonderful things about the brain and how family attachments enhance emotional and intellectual health in growing children. They know that, literally, what a person believes to be true becomes reality. For example, a study at the University of Michigan told certain participants that a cream rubbed on their arms was a “pain-reducing” cream. Then the participants were touched with a hot instrument. Every person who received the “pain-reducing” cream reported feeling little or no pain, although the cream had absolutely no pain inhibiting factors whatsoever.
Andrea Sullivan, owner of BrainStrength Systems, says, “What we think can change the structure of our brains through what scientists call neuroplasticity.” (Good Housekeeping; January 2009; p. 103).
You, through your interactions with your child and the example you set on meeting your own life’s challenges, can help your child grow into happy adulthood. I’m not talking about setting up a rigid formula that you can follow and then be sure of the outcome. We’re talking about other human beings here, human beings who have free will. If you focus positive energy in dealing with your own challenges, you will demonstrate that you can control your own responses, even though you can’t control other people’s actions.
You can choose to be happy or upset; nobody “makes” you miserable. True, others may say mean things, steal from you, drive recklessly, and display a host of other actions over which you will have no control. But you can still choose your behavior. Tears may spring to your eyes, but you don’t have to let angry words escape your lips or swing your fists.
Your child is always watching and imitating your behavior. If you erupt into a swearing tirade when somebody cuts in front of you and steals a parking place in a crowded parking lot, don’t be surprised by your child’s tantrum if you interrupt his video game to ask him to load the dishwasher.
Tor Wager, Ph.D. assistant professor of psychology at Columbia University said that “similar brain mechanisms are at work whether we’re influenced by expectations coming from outside ourselves or we’re generating our own expectations.” This knowledge can help you understand how important it is to model positive responses to negative situations.
If someone drives erratically or bumps into you with a grocery cart, be quick to give a positive spin to the situation, “She must be distracted” or “these aisles really need traffic lights.” Be slow to anger and quick to see another’s point of view, even if you misunderstand the other person’s point of view. Positive thoughts give positive energy and positive energy produces calming chemicals in your brain. Best of all, your child will learn this marvelous way of finding peace amidst adversity–a lesson that will serve him well as he encounters the inevitable challenges and pains of life.